Oh Hells No!

Oh, no you di'int! Gurrl, don't be thinking I di'in't see yo pasty behind go an take the last Reese's cup. Now all they be left is these nasty Whopper's an shit. Don' nobody round here be eatin no nasty, ass, crumbly fake-ass candy like that. How you gonna do me like that?
You betta watch yo ass. Nuuu-uh, I'm fo cereal, girl. I don' care if you is on yo period. Yo mama raised you up betta than that. I seen you. You been goin up back and fourth from that there candy dish since damn near 9 o'clock dis morning. First there's all they Snicker's. Then they's all dem carmel crunch what-sists. Now, you gonna do me like dis?
Ain't yo ass fat enough a'ready? I GOT all this workin' girl an' that's WHY I be leaving all that nasty sh*t behind. But if I gotsta sit up in dis piece, listenin' to tha MAN yabba on for damn near 2 hours, I deserve a li'l some'in for the effort. I DESERVE me some peanut butter in my chocolate. Now, you BEST be handin that oringe bitch back in my direction before I hafta get all ghetto on yo ass.
An I ain't one you wanna mess wit! You don' start walking yo cottage cheese suckin, Diet Coke drinkin', Jenny Craig callin' behind back here, I'm gonna hafta schedule another conference call. An don NOBODY want that.