Wednesday, October 03, 2007


What is up with me and this place these days? In the past three weeks I've been to Chamber's as many times! It's not that great and I seriously cannot afford this joint. Luckily, or perhaps as a testament to my cleverness, I have not been forced to pay most of the time.
The first time I went was with a bunch of my new coworkers for lunch. We were seated in the main upstairs dining room and I was left to stare at this very realistic sculpture of an old guy. An old guy that really didn't appear to be having all that great of a time. Meanwhile, I was dying from an allergy attack and desperately praying that I was not a snotty, seeping mess in front of my new work buddies. I was, though. Nobody talked to me. I ordered the spicy noodles that really did live up to their name. The shrimp was just a little over cooked, but dusted with peppery seasonings and set atop a bowl of ramen-type noodles garnished with a spicy chili paste, and they were all soaking in a lovely little anise flavored broth. It was tasty and pleasantly hot - not at all MN spicy. It was enough heat to knock the sneezes out of me completely. Until I was done eating, of course. After the meal I tucked into the gorgeous bathroom to blow my nose and continue my prayer vigil. Didn't work.
The next time I went was last Thursday and it's one of those nights where it's probably better to leave plenty out. We were drinking and there was no eating, so you make up the story as I go along. Yours is probably better anyway. I went out for what was supposed to be just one cocktail with J. Lo, my friend Candace and a couple of her coworkers. We went right up to the upstairs bar only to happen upon an entirely empty room. It was only 7 but, were they even open? It was cavernous and our heels echoed against the floors. Just then, a server motioned for us to follow him the opposite direction of the bar. He was unknowingly inviting us to a corporate party for an upscale retailer. We may or may not have gone in. And they may or may not have been serving martinis.
Eventually, we made our way downstairs. The night was warm, but the fire in the outdoor courtyard was comforting. There was one waitress and exactly two other tables filled. What is up with this place? Doesn't anybody come here? It's beautiful! Oh, that's right. $8 for rail drinks. Hmmhmm. Yeah, I'm probably not going to be spending too much time there either.
The chairs were incredibly comfortable and sleek in their '60's mod design. I walked over to the very large gorilla statue in the middle of the courtyard. It appeared that his arm fell off. He was looking at it. He didn't seem too bothered about it. I found myself staring into his non-existent eyes until I was reminded of that scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Cameron stares into that painting and you can tell he's identifying with that little boy and some how you know that he's a supremely lonely and fucked up individual. I could practically hear the music. Better go sit down.
Wandering back to our table, I ordered another drink or four. We were having the greatest time! Making friends with random people in that way that you only can when you're all together lonely and in search of a good time.
J.Lo and I called it a bit of an early night and shoved off for our respective homes. There may or may not have been a stop at Taco Bell. It was an adventure, crawling around all those nearly empty rooms and surrounded by all of that odd art. I'm not crazy about everything that's in there, but I suppose that's sort of the point.
Now, I'm thinking I'm done with the place. The food is good, but not outstanding. The art is weird and sometimes stares back and it's almost always nearly empty. Or maybe that's just the pessimist in me?
Yet today I went back with my attorney and paralegal. What? I can so have an attorney! I have very important legal documents to review and stuff. Like, that time I got my purse stolen? Yeah, he totally told me what kind of letter to write to protect my already empty bank account and... and I don't really have any assets.. per se. I do have a kick ass Henkels knife, though. Fine! It was Matt's brother. Still, no reason that the Chamber's shouldn't think I'm chock full o'money. Here I am, damn near becoming a regular!
For today's lunch Aisha (oh, yeah, the paralegal's my friend. We only grew together. I'm going to be her maid of honor at her wedding. It's not like we're all that close or anything. I can call her a paralegal. Because she is.) Aisha ordered the same noodle bowl thing I had before, Patrick had the charred corn ravioli and I had the Portobello mushroom sandwich. Thankfully, we were now facing away from the creepy dude and I was gazing upon a calming white wall. Ahh... fond memories.
My sandwich was good. It was really messy, though. There was a ton of mayo on there! And a slippery little mushroom doesn't need any more greasing up. Still, it was tasty. It was served along side some very, very thin and a little under seasoned home made potato chips. There were only a couple and my lack of restraint thanked them. Aisha seemed pleased with her noodle bowl. Patrick scarfed down the raviolis so fast that I didn't really know if they tasted good. They looked divine, but it was an awfully small portion, covered in a lovely pesto and spiced up with a kick of wasabi. Our service, meanwhile, was flawless.
Still, I don't really understand why I've been there so much. It seems to be just another hotel downtown. One with great art, but about as lively as Firelake after 5. It's pretty much dullsville. Then again... I'll be happy to go again if you're buying.


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