Monday, March 12, 2007


Dear 101 Blu/Aura,
Would you please just close already? Seriously! How are you still hanging in there? You food is disgusting, your waitstaff incompetent and your location is outstanding! How are you even running anymore? The only time that people are in there is on the weekend because everywhere else in Uptown is full! That's the only thing you have going for you! I know that I can walk in there and get a seat because it's NEVER FULL. Never! Doesn't that bother you? Don't you want to get a seat at the cool kids table at least once? I mean, you've got everything going for you really. The location is prime for a classy little joint. It'd be perfect for something just a little more upscale than the Figlio/Independent offerings elsewhere in Calhoun Square. What you need is a serious intervention, so here comes the tough love, little guy.
I can no longer stand by and watch you destroy yourself. When you opened we all had such high hopes for you. You were a shining jewel, lighting up the nightlife around you. But, when you continue to serve wretched food and woeful drinks, it hurts everyone around you. The time that I ordered the fruit pizza (hic) with (sniff) Oh, this is just so hard. (Sigh.) Okay, that time that I ordered the fruit pizza and all of the fruit was still frozen and the crust was soggy and (sob) soggy and... It was just... can't, Aura! I just can't tolerate that. And then last Saturday, when I was there with Laura, your bartender wouldn't even look at us and we were sitting RIGHT THERE! Right in the middle of the bar!
Oh, and the people you've been hanging out with are just horrible. What was with that girl who could not have been out of her 20's, but she'd tanned and nipped and tucked herself into the face of an 80 year old? Is Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon darkening corners there? Who are these people? This not a healthy relationship. That chick would sell you out for a chemical peel.
And then there was the chef, dear Aura, the one with the BO so bad that I could smell him from across the room? What were you thinking? How would you put someone like that near people with olfactory senses? And that's who you expect me to order food from? I cannot tolerate this type of environment and will no longer expose me or my friends to you and the destruction you've brought upon yourself.
So, today, I ask you, will you please accept this gift and get yourself the help that you need?


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