The Club the Was

Matt just called me with some terrible news. Mayslack's has changed their club sandwich! The sandwich that we shared and found love over is no more. Now, when you order a Club you get that generic thing that every other restaurant has on their menu.
Once they had the most brilliant sandwich creation ever graced by bacon and now they have nothing! I'm never going there again. No! I don't care what you say! Besides, Maverick's beats Mayslack's meat every day of the week (except Sunday, when they're closed.)
What they used to have was a sandwich that Matt and I held so dear to our hearts. It was after that meal that we knew we were destined to be together. The stars aligned and heaven shown down upon us and our greasy basket of goodness.
I feel like I should tell you more about what was so wonderful about this sandwich, but why? Why bother? It's not even THERE. It's like it never even EXSISTED. They killed Sammy!! You BASTARDS!!
Sometime, when the pain isn't quite so fresh, I'll explain the brilliance of separating the hot meats from the cool crispy shredded lettuce and mayo with thick slices of Swiss cheese. I'll rhapsodize about the grilled, juicy meats and the thick, smokey bacon. I'll try to conjure the crunch the cripsy bread produced. Maybe I'll even find a way to share the soft words my beloved blessed his meal with. And I'll recall how his friend Mark disgustedly turned to him later, upon hearing the retelling of our tale and said, "Dude, you found a girl that talks to her food, too? What!? You're going to marry her, aren't you?"