City Gritty? More Like City Shitty

I read a little tiny bit of the City Pages Best of the City and wanted to write an angry fist-shaking letter. Effin' Stella's got best seafood, duplex got the most romantic date place (it's so tiny, cramped and LOUD) and best Thai was the Rum Tup suck me off or whatever that place is called in Uptown. The food tastes like bland butt noodles! GAG ME!!! Best Mexican? Masa! Are you kidding me? With all the authentic places, we're supposed to think that the D'amico people know Mexican food best? Please!
Oh, I get all worked up again just thinking about it. Dara must be battling a serious crack addiction. I can't trust her anymore.