Fabulous Fern's

Something about the name of this place will always conjure up a vision of a giant drag queen. I don't know. The "Fern" pictured in the entryway is hardly what I would call fabulous. Eddie Izzard is fabulous. Elton John nostrils stuff with coke: super fabulous with sparkles. Fern? Dumpy old broad. But then you loose all that aliteration.
Regardless of the name, I found myself pulled up to an outdoor table at the establishment last night. I'd left my beloved Mpls for the other side of the river, and although part of me felt like I was betraying my town, the desire to sit outside and not freeze my tits off was stronger. It was what seemed like the first sunny day in eons and I wanted to curl up in a little corner of sunlight and absorb every bit of warmth I could. My cats always make this look so easy. I found that most outdoor patios are either completely shaded or have only a smidgen of sun that will fade as the hours pass. Fern's patio is just a stretch of concrete under an awning next to the parking lot. What most people would refer to as a "sidewalk," but when it comes to sitting outside on one of our dozen warm Minnesotan days, we as a people are not too picky.
It took roughly half an hour to get noticed or a menu, and there was no mention of any happy hour specials. So, I don't know if they exist. But after my vodka lemonade arrived I didn't care. I mean, really what is time? Nice breeze, warm sun... All I needed was a rocking chair and someone to refer to as Colonel. I ordered some variety of chicken wing that was not Buffalo or BBQ. They were glazed with hoison sauce and garlic and delicious. They only served the little drummies, which always makes me ponder where the other half of the wing goes to. I followed that up with a turkey burger. For a certain time the turkey burger seemed to be a real up and comer on hoity toity-wanna be menus around town. But they didn't really catch on. I think Fern's version would be one of the reasons for that. It tasted more like ground chicken than turkey. Don't ask me to clarify that distinction, they just did.